Secret Agent

My daughter: I’m gonna be a secret agent!
Me: Do you even know what a secret agent is?
My daughter: Yes
Me: What is it?
My daughter: They’re very quiet and the SNEAK around!

Future Husband . . . or not

My Daughter: [This little boy from school] is coming to my house and we are going to get married
My Wife: He’s going to get married to you
My Daughter: Actually, I don’t have any little boy play clothes
My Wife: Really? What are you going to do?
My Daughter: You know, I don’t think he is going to be my husband
My Wife: Actually, the Lord is preparing a very special person to be your husband when you grow up
My Daughter: Like John? I think John is going to be my husband.
My Wife: John?
My Daughter: Yes, John the Baptist
My Wife: Oh?
My Daughter: Hmm . . . but he eats bees . . . how am I going to cook bees?
My Wife: Well if you were his wife, you would need to cook bees for him to eat
My Daughter (really perplexed): But how do you cook bees?!!

koma not az purry goo’

koma: google [koma last name]
google: 39,500 hits
koma: datz purry goo’ (koma proud and whatnot)
google: reely
koma: yes
google: try ‘obama’
koma: ok
google: 310,000,000 hits
komaNotSoProudNow: oh . . . seemz to be berra’
google: yup

Movie Dialogue: Spinal Tap

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins… I must admit I’ve never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins: It’s an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he’s not a very well known saint.
Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh… there was a Saint Hubbins?
David St. Hubbins: That’s right, yes.
Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.