“Hubert E.” by koma


Now Hubert E. waz not reely known by Koma en hiz frenz when they waz little.  Koma dun heard abourr’him one’day in class.  This here teecha done sed . . . if you done seen Hubert E, then you got homonez and whatnot.

Homonez? Sez Koma (in hiz brainjus and not out loud . . . seenaz homonez sounded like something he berr’not askabout jussYet)

Yes . . . seeit, sez this here teecha, girlz done seen Hubert E. en then thems en boyz is quite diffrn’.

Diffrn’ how? Sez Koma (in hiz brainjus again . . . this time Kome dun confuzed en whatnot)

Teecha goes on: well, when girlz dun seen Hubert E., then thems is more like little wimiins, than little girls . . . seeit?

Hmmm, sez Koma (this time not only in hiz brainjus, but out loud)

HmmWhat? Sez teeecha

Well, sez Koma, iz boyz little men when they dun seen Hubert E.

En, if boyz see Hubert E., do they see him agen?

En, if Hubert E. dun around, when does he go away?

En, if he never goes away, do we juss get used to Hubert E.?

Where duzz Hubert E. come from?

Is Hubert E. a man or a wimin?

Well, sez Ms. Teecha: Hubert E. iz not so much a man or wimmin az he izz a thing . . . seeit.

Not reely, ‘cause you dun sed, when girlz see Hubert E., they done changed en whatnot . . .

Okay, thass wharr’ I dun sed.  Burr, wha’ I dun ment waz tha’ azz young peeples is in this here thing called Hubert E. changez dun happen in there bodies en minds . . . seenaz wharr’they dun gotNow is Homonez . . . seeit?

En, wharr’ iz these here changes, sez Koma (this time Koma not askin kweshinz juss to ask queshinz burr Koma dun innerested to know wharr’ it means for hiz little body to change)

Well, sez Ms. Teecha, this here iz tha’ part of the class where all the little boyz dun go to another room en talk with Teecha, en Ms. Teecha stayz here with tha’ little girlz.

Koma confuzed and whatnot, burr’ he goez with his frenz to Room 2 where Teecha done had all the other little boyz en this here is what Teecha done sed:

ThingsHeSed, things He sed, things he sed

Koma: wow!

Teecha: things he sed

Koma: reely?!

Teecha: yes!  Things he sed

Koma (eyez wide open): wow

En thass how Koma dun heard abourr Hubert. E.

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